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>>16906
>following a client indefinitely at the expense of your own self-care
That's what each therapist determines their comfort with. What boundaries you set is up to you. Some therapists who counsel suicidal clients give those clients their personal phone and say they can call them any time of the day or night, if their deescalation plan isn't working.
Ultimately, my aim is to be 100% attuned to a client for the 50 minutes we are together. I can take care of my needs once I'm off the clock.
>Sounds noble, I'm just wondering if it's actually how it goes and whether or not it's feasible
Much like enlightenment, deep empathy and unconditional positive regard is something to strive for. Its feasibility is always in question. How do we know if we've reached it?
>a person who has not yet given their own self proper care (because they just don't have it inside them) cannot really deeply care about someone else who is actually in much deeper shit and requires even more care, because it's just mechanically impossible
Yeah. A therapist has to get their own unfinished business in check first. That doesn't mean they have to resolve all of their issues, but they should not let that get in the way of their work with clients.
>Having went there for themselves, in their own case etc.
There are near death experiences, paranormal or spiritual experiences, and psychedelic experiences, all of which can produce a similar effect. Even with those, though, they don't lead to a perfect understanding of what a client is going through.
>And if the therapist doesn't deeply care, we'll obviously then there's no warmth and no deep empathy there anyway, even if they may pose as if they are there with them and keeping them company or holding their hand. It would be all just theatrics, even with the best of intentions in the conscious mind of the therapist.
That's why the third pillar is congruence (authenticity), next to empathy and unconditional positive regard. That's in the humanistic school anyway.
>You follow me, it's just, some of these things sound good, but our mechanically impossible.
True, I cannot be you or have a perfect understanding of you. It's mechanically impossible, so why does deep human connection feel so powerful?