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Exact thought I had yesterday.
But I didn't quite feel it in my bones. However I have felt it in my bones some years ago.
Also, there are two types of not caring. Depression / numbness and actual serenity / peace / calmness. Depression and numbness is ignorance. You do care. Now calmness and stillness and meditation as the actual state of not caring is a superpower the likes of which people have generally no idea about. Even when they meditate, they're doing something. That's not the kind of meditation I'm talking about. Not trying to achieve anything. For example if you take mushrooms and just breathe for 2-3 hours in a sensory deprivation chamber. Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe, just be aware of the breath. And then back to the breath again back to the breath. After those two three hours... Dead Man walking. Try it. Don't expect fireworks, but try it.
Other times I was certain I was facing my own death. I was not amused. I was amused actually, but right up until the point that I actually felt it in my bones. Not caring is a superpower. It makes a man a king. It makes you see things for how they actually are. And you realize that anything and everything that you might ever gain as a benefit - it's all a bonus. And you have nothing to lose. It makes you Superior to everyone. Even as you are simultaneously the lowest of the low. Nothing can ever surprise you. Or knock you out of your serenity. It's very easy then to start caring again, but that's the trick, you have to keep not caring. Enjoy things like little singing birds and butterflies landing on your hand. The moment you try to grasp it and have it, it's gone. So keep not caring. And have a little bit of a journey. Moving through it like a God.
Now you want to hear the funniest thing? You can just for your own amusement and kicks do more effort and a more massive action or mobilization than the most passionate people. And still not give a single fuck. That's quite a combination don't you think. Of course, soon you find out that you're a lazy fuck and that you actually do care about comfort, food, air and stupid shit like rest because "oh, what if I die from too little eep". 'ho gives a fuck... It was never about not dying... But you know, food for thought.
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