/grim/ - Cold, Grim & Miserable

Edgar Anon Poe 16/09/04(Sun)14:55 No. 5035 [Reply] [Last 50 posts]

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What do you desire /grim/?

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/05/04(Sun)19:16 No. 7386

>>5035
to from the beginning have be known that desire was acceptable to have. that to satisfy ones own desire was required to experience this thing called "joy".

why would that be hidden from anyone?

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/05/11(Sun)01:54 No. 7388

>>7385
Remember when we made this guy into a white nationalist mascot?

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That+Spic+From+Gurochan!.genxMyjaM 25/05/16(Fri)04:20 No. 7391

>>7386
Mass control, Anon. We can't have people wanting things that we might want too.
If they tried to get them, they'd realize we've keeping them from them. Or worse, if they somehow got 'em, they'd think they're equal to us. We can't let that happen, nosiree.

Hitler Day Edgar Anon Poe 25/02/06(Thu)03:08 No. 7294 [Reply]

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Less than 77 days until the rest of these Christ faggots are isolated and exterminated :3

(YOU WERE WRONG, PERMAB&)

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/26(Sat)04:06 No. 7362

>>7350
The nigger that wanted to shit all over Jorge's legacy and go full Ratzinger Z on the wetbacks and faggots is out of the race, so there's that.

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/30(Wed)18:36 No. 7383

>>7362
Jorge's only legacy is just how much of a terrible pope he was. I mean, at least Benny no. 16 didn't persecute the Novus Corvus Cathies or bless pagan idols.

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/05/10(Sat)10:26 No. 7387

Lolis are 10 times cooler (and cuter) than regular girls.

Homelessness and Wandering the States Edgar Anon Poe 22/11/26(Sat)10:12 No. 6905 [Reply]

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Real quick, I'm a schizophrenic NEET on disability but because Murica I do not make enough to live off of on my own. I've always had to take roommates to share the rent with, and because most people don't do that for free, it's usually a romantic partner I move in with. Because I'm vulnerable and stupid, I end up falling for a person who hurts me, or even starts beating me and insulting me just to put me down. So I run away. I call a friend somewhere else in the States who can move me somewhere else, and then it starts again. I meet a person, they hurt me, I leave.

You get the point, basically. Medicaid is state based, so when you move elsewhere, you need to reapply for that state's version of Medicaid. As I've already been to half the states in the country, and already moved twice this year, it's been very hard to keep my medical benefits steady (they can take up to 100 days to approve an applicant after the forms are filled out or, if you have SSI, respond to a change of address.)

I can't get my meds right now so it's harder and harder to go outside, I can barely get food, and might be moving again in another few months too.

My family says they're willing to house and feed me and take care of the cost of my medicine, but the only stipulation is that I cannot bring anyone home with me. The problem with this is that I'm extremely codependent, too broken to live for my own sake, so I need someone to lean on and be my purpose. But after 6 or 7 consecutive relationships that turned abusive, I'm really just thinking there isn't much hope for me living comfortably, or doing anything other than struggling like an animal every day to survive.

Are there any other diagnosed schizophrenics here whose conditions are severely disabling? If so, I'd love to know how you're all getting by, because I'm having a really tough time out here. (pic unrelated, just a drawing I did when I moved here)

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/11/30(Wed)13:17 No. 6914

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I'm not a full blown skito but it runs in my family and I have had vivid experiences where I have hear voices. Only a handful of times but I think this could be the onset of my genetic predispostion to it, anywho; I'll tell you what every therapist has told me: Change the narrative you tell yourself. It seems lame but it really is the only thing that truly works. Read some stoics like Marcus Aurelius and learn how to control your reactions to your emotions better because the truth is that the world is a cold and dark place and doesn't give a shit about you or anyone and will do everything in its power to try and kill you and will if you let it.

You are a meaningless spec floating through an infinite cosmos. Just choose to be ok the best you can. I understand what its like to be on food stamps and be codependent with an abusive partner and that is what has helped me regain my independence. That and an insatiable thirst for the truth and this is what I have come to realize. Good luck.

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/12/21(Wed)03:54 No. 6924

We've met. Maybe not you, but somebody just like you. We were friends for a while, and you helped me through a tough time. I want nothing more than to go back to that, and repay it. I can work again with the meds I'm taking, I have a house and health insurance. But she's gone, and I'm alone. Maybe the answer is to trust your family. Let the co-dependence fall through until you are hopeless and all you have is them to protect you from yourself. Because everybody is somebody's everything. Nobody is nothing. I love you anon.

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That Spic From Gurochan!.genxMyjaM 25/04/30(Wed)04:04 No. 7382

Since the psychologist told me "What do you need a diagnosis for?" I'm not certified. But considering I experience hallucinations, and was prescribed olanzapine and risperidone, I guess I made the cut.
As for the question, I just soldier on.
I'm off the pills since '19, I'd rather deal with the voices and the suicidal ideation than to endure the side effects. I'll pull through until I make it or until I end up on the shock room again.

Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/21(Mon)11:31 No. 7334 [Reply]

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>whole board from grimness on an imageboard
>no thread for grim images on the whole front page
yawn

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/21(Mon)11:33 No. 7335

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!.genxMyjaM 25/04/28(Mon)05:22 No. 7369

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>>7334
OP gets it.

accusation and admission Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/28(Mon)02:29 No. 7368 [Reply]

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inhibition exhibition extraordinaire

holding back at the cost of failure
nothing more than a whisp of air

HOLD IT
dont breathe like they said
this day is more than your daily bread

AND YOU WASTE IT
birds dont care about how you feel
dirt doesnt know how dirty it is
and mud feels neglected to play

you bastards really knew what you did
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Is there anything that would bring you solace? Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/21(Mon)20:40 No. 7337 [Reply]

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It might not sound like much, but, personally, it would be quiet.

Today reminds me of why I yearn for quiet so much...

I was about four at the time, we had this neighbor across the road who would always go outside and garden. He was a jolly old man. That was, until one day, when he was not outside. Same with the next. One day became five and by that time the police showed up. Dead, from alcohol poisoning. He left a note too just before his death. I never knew what it said, but presumably it was suicide. Considering who he was externally, it was hard to believe it.

I use the silence to think about those who I knew, but are no longer around. Unfortunately, this has been too many.

It has been almost two years ago since my last friend committed suicide too. We met because we were both web devs at the time and despite being halfway across the world, we were very close. I miss him, as friends have always been difficult for someone like me.

Quiet gives me solace for it makes those I knew seem all the more closer.

So I ask the rest of you anons, as I have asserted in the title, what brings you solace?

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/25(Fri)01:41 No. 7357

Serenity/calmness gives me infinite solace. And it is always here, whether I am aware of it or not. I know this about myself. An hydrogen bomb, hell, a hypernova can be going off directly in my face and I know there's a layer of me beneath all of it that is so chill, you cannot disturb with any power in the universe or beyond.
The background radiation type shit. Ambience. Just dgaf

What can I say, I'm a multifaceted guy

Tl;dr solace is too complex a thought tbh, I'm too faded to consider niggg
The real question is what wakes me up...

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/26(Sat)04:09 No. 7363

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>>7338
This but make it urban.
Taking a different path from A to B, walking instead of taking the bus, off the clock and with no time of arrival, is magical.

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/26(Sat)21:58 No. 7365

>>7363
Low key real. + drugs + music + night

But I live in the middle of nowhere so as soon as I step outside I'm in the nether lands and forests. Speaking of Netherlands, I've enjoyed many such walks in Amsterdam. At least 10 years ago, it was or perhaps still is my favorite well my second favorite city, big city in europe. Perfect for walking like that. No tall buildings, no bustling business vibe, just chill and awesome. + Drugs.

Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/15(Tue)20:05 No. 7322 [Reply]

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What about ya'll who are functioning. who have friends. but who still feel lonely?
I have a hot af gf and friends. I'm charismatic. I still want to die. Because everyone is fucking retarded. I don't know how else to put it. Everyone is retarded. None of it matters. no one cares about you or what you actually think. everyone is insecure and it's ANNOYING.

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/16(Wed)00:45 No. 7323

Don't have hot gf or friends, yes everyone is retarded, but I neither want to kill myself (hasn't been the case for the last 12+ years, nor do I feel lonely. Maybe you should ditch the fake folks so you would be able to hear yourself and hear the truth again?

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/25(Fri)00:52 No. 7355

try to live a parasitic-like life! as for fame, it's akin to poison sometimes . . .

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/26(Sat)04:02 No. 7361

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>>7322
Everyone is retarded.
Especially you.
Once you realize this, the inevitability of retardation will give way to numbness and later on, to acceptation.
Humans are not rational. That's an illusion.
Everyone's rarted. And that's okay.

Edgar Anon Poe 19/12/30(Mon)07:22 No. 6325 [Reply]

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gimme a list of your guys favorite songs

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/19(Sat)15:41 No. 7330

one favorite song for every artist in my library i feel qualified enough to list a favorite for:

Abandoned Pools - Start Over
Aesop Rock - Pigeonomics
Alec Lambert - Incense (Smoke & Honey)
Alvvays - Very Online Guy
Apes of the State - Timeline
Backxwash - Black Magic
beabadoobee - Glue Song
Beach Bunny - Entropy
Beck - Loser
Billie Eilish - BIRDS OF A FEATHER
Birchville Cat Motel - Double Cascade Mini Fantasy
Bright Eyes - Bells and Whistles
Broods - Piece of My Mind
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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/21(Mon)00:48 No. 7332

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1 Duran Duran -- Sound Of Thunder
2 Dead Kennedys -- Soup Is Good Food
3 The Beatles -- And Your Bird Can Sing
4 The Dead Milkmen -- Lucky
5 Bad Religion -- A Walk
6 Green Day -- When I Come Around
7 Nirvana -- Drain You
8 They Might Be Giants -- Birdhouse in Your Soul
9 Minutemen - This Ain't No Picnic
10 The Slits - Ping Pong Affair
11 The Specials - Ghost Town
12 NOFX -- Leave it Alone
13 Blur -- Coffee and TV
14 Squeeze -- Cool For Cats
15 Soundgarden -- My Wave
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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/22(Tue)13:21 No. 7342

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Portishead - Sour Times
Silencer - Sterile Nails and Thunderbowels
Prodigy - Smack my Bitch Up
Alice In Chains - Bleed The Freak
Swans - Failure
Radiohead- Paranoid Andriod
Massive Attack - Teardrop
Pearl Jam - Black
Aphex Twin - Windowlicker
Bananarama - Venus
Burzum - Dunkelheit

Edgar Anon Poe 16/02/23(Tue)17:34 No. 4771 [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]

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Talk about your crush and why you won't be together.

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/21(Mon)05:02 No. 7333

I don't even know what love is
So why should I even bother being anything more than a loose acquaintance with her

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/22(Tue)00:31 No. 7339

>>4771
Crush?
I cannot say that I have ever had one. In fact, I am a bit of a hopeless romantic, really.

I have always had other concerns on my mind, but I do recall this girl once. She was slender and about my height (I am of short stature, about 3.6 cubits), she liked to draw and never spoke to anyone, just sitting, alone. She was very talented and had some of the fairest skin I had set my eyes on (I should clarify that I have a skin condition which causes a certain fungus to grow on my face and turn it red and scaly, with patches peeling and oozing, it requires five drugs to address the symptoms, but nothing is approved for the cause). Nevertheless, only bad things happen to the people around me, so I would rather not put her in a place worse than her own.

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/04/22(Tue)07:46 No. 7341

>>4771
He's twice my age and happily in a relationship. So am I. But I want to love him.

Alone at a cost Edgar Anon Poe 23/08/01(Tue)00:26 No. 7139 [Reply]

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When I was in my late-teens to early-twenties all I wanted was a Girlfriend. Now I'm slightly older and have had girlfriends but now I just want to be alone, (the only good part was sex
) I don't enjoy spending time with them or showing affection its just not something I enjoy. Same with friends I don't enjoy being with them or speaking to them, so recently I cut them all off my friends, girlfriend and family. I have never felt happier but now have the feeling of impending doom and increased paranoia. Is it worth being surrounded by people but hating them all and feeling depressed or being alone and happy but feeling like the end of everything and everyone is coming soon?

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Edgar Anon Poe 23/08/06(Sun)00:08 No. 7141

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One thing I have realized is that you are never truly happy. Weather you are alone or with others.Human survival instincts dictate that we need to seek out other people. Some more than others, but, we only have a tolerance loneliness that is so high. Same for how long and how much you can spend around others.

Happiness is more a fleeting feeling in a world that is usually dominated by moments of suffering. Happiness is temporary suffering is forever.

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Edgar Anon Poe 25/02/02(Sun)21:05 No. 7292

same here. I'm on the process of leaving my friend circle. like quiet quitting a job. i want absolutely nothing to do with them anymore.

on girlfriends, i agree that only the sex was good and maybe the few tender moments. i find it kinda weird that i am like this. but ig im not entirely alone.

and to me paranoia is just maximum awareness.

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The Reaper 25/02/06(Thu)04:37 No. 7295

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All my undead friends are going to be redead soon :\ so I'd rather be alone for these final accursed months.