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>>7791
nigga, if you're not an edgy teenage girl you have no business cutting yourself and if you are tits or gtfo

cute pic

>>7792
I’m a tranny.

>Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream

Do you ever think that your need to alter your body is a misplaced aggression, attacking what you can reach rather than whatever aspect of yourself you've repressed even further than your biology? Or do you just like swishy skirts?

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>>7794
As I said, you have no business cutting yourself. But if you in your desire to feel more like an angsty teen girl decide to do it anyway stay within styro. Yellow beans max. Otherwise you may fuck up your shit and the way that is not just cosmetic. Although I understand, there's always that temptation to hit bedrock, but anyway, I don't think you're suicidal, well maybe you are, but if you're doing it for attention, I have no sympathy for you. The real suicides are actual heroes. Doing it for attention or doing it in a half-assed manner garners no respect fron me. If you want to kill yourself come and do it right. If you want to cripple yourself, well, that's a pretty fucked up wish, but don't just pretend that you want to risk death when the only thing you're really risking is giving yourself permanent damage.

If you're going to do this, buy some of those what are they called Band-Aids but for like deep cuts you know like the alternative stuff for stitches. I don't know, I'm an ESL retard. And you probably don't care what they call it in ancient Sanskrit type languages.

Anyway, my are commendation is just don't do it. But then I would recommend not fucking with your hormones or your physical body in any way either which you probably don't agree with sincere fucking tranny and want tits. Well, if you do, come here when you have them and post them.

>>7799
I don’t intend to cut past baby beans.
Thank you for the tip. I will purchase some wound closure strips. I am not suicidal at the moment. I cut for fun and stress relief.

I will actually consider posting my tits when they are more developed lol

https://temp-image.com/5vf7MWcObMKSW8k

I really need to conquer my fear and start going deeper honestly. This is pretty pathetic

>>7802
Conquer your fear in areas where it actually improves the lives of others or your own.

Meditation on fragility, mortality is good (you'd have no fear of cutting yourself if you knew just how fragile and mortal you are) but does not necessarily require physical damage that potentially reduce your capabilities and/or burden others.

If it's reduces stress for you, it's most likely social stress. Figure out your mind. Something about your attitude towards others is not integrated. This is a Band-Aid, it will not solve the problem. Learn to regard others in a way that doesn't cause you stress. Perhaps adjust where you pay attention, how much and to what.

Love is the answer
Find your peace

I will cutfag again later. So fucking sick right now.

Still super fucking sick but I did a few more anyways. I think I blunted my razor too much because it kept not cutting.

https://temp-image.com/4PfhXD7Uih22q0T

>>7806
why do you get from doing this?

>>7807
what*

>>7807
I’m some kind of nonsexual masochist. Cutting is fun for me and makes me feel better.

>>7809
Gotcha! Were you abused when you were younger or it just developed on it's own?

>>7810
I was abused for a period as a child but I was kind of fucked up even before then.

>>7811
How were you abused? The details aren't necessary, was it sexual or physical?

>>7812
Physical and emotional.

>>7813
Do you relive the memories every day, who cooks you meals?

>>7814
I’m pretty much over the trauma. Also my pre-hrt memory is fragmented as fuck because I was constantly dissociated which helps.

What do you mean about the meals?

>>7815
I mean who feeds you

>>7816
I feed myself? I don’t want to talk about my personal life here.

>>7817
You kinda are talking about your personal life

>>7818
I don’t want to share too much identifying information.

>>7819
That is acceptable

>>7819
If you told me your dad, I think I might have identified you. Well later down the line. But I'm keeping a catalog on you. Even without this information I will eventually crack the code. Blood is sexy. Unfortunately I'm not attracted to biological males. Although I would have dated one or two guys that I've seen in my life, but sexually and in the bed, I just don't think it's the same or can be the same. I fucking sense the spirit of these women... Idk, I guess I always was a bit psychic in that sense. Anyway, long story. I'm sure you'll find your whatever it is that you're looking for sexually and romantically. But yeah, blood is kind of sexy. Please don't cut too deep, that shit is fucking disgusting. Also again don't want to annoy you, but try not to do any damage. If you cut through the whole styro layer The likelihood of infection and deep scars due to gaping will be just, just please don't do it. If you can help it.

I will tell you though, the funniest shit is when people say they don't want to be identified, yet post their face on the internet. Well, at least you're not that stupid. But face equals identity nowadays.

WTF

>>7821
I don’t intend to go too deep.

>>7823
Did you not make the other comment?

>>7825
no

>>7826
Yeah that comment was pretty strange

>sense the spirit of these women
fuckin psycotic

>keeping a catalog on you
And he has a shrine fukkin hell

I have latent abilities mf

>>7829
Lmao

>>7829
No, you've just been alone too long. Welcome home btw

>>7791
Are you still alive

>>7837
I am.

Show how your arms have healed

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>>7839
I have not cut my arms at all. I was cutting my thigh. I have not been cutting lately because I met my boyfriend whom I love. Here is what the cuts look like now:

>>7840
doesnt look like deep cuts lol

>>7841
Yeah, they're cat scratch.

Also op found a boyfriend in 7 days and they're not even biological female meanwhile I couldn't find a gf in 7 years and I'm a straight man. I should've been born a cute little thot mfw

>>7840
Well it's good to hear that you met someone and he stops you from cutting.
>>7842
You know that you have to go out and actually talk to girls to get them? Apologies if you are actually going out.

>>7843
Nah, your ride dude, I'm not bitching. I just hate cities, live in the middle of nowhere and don't have enough money to spend on bitches or parties or whatever. I'm basically a poor fag who a few luxuries that I really do care about.

And the few times that I did have interactions with women that I was at least initially vibing with, they ended up kind of being boring or ghosting me, but in general just not being cool about it, so last years I haven't even been trying.

Also I'm autistic and think women are boring af in general so that doesn't help with motivation. Don't get me wrong, they are awesome in their own ways, they are cute and some of them are sweet and beautiful etc, but in terms of actually being interesting individuals, is just exceedingly rare unfortunately I believe and basic stuff of how you treat another human or a friend that exists at least in my social circle which is admittedly very tiny, all those things seem to have completely missed those girls at least the ones that I interacted with. They just don't know how to be cool with or around others. Which is fine, but it just doesn't help with being interested in them you know what I mean. But again I'm not bitching, this is totally on me. I haven't really been putting in effort at all.

>>7846
Totally get you man. At the risk of sounding cliché there really is someone for you (judging by the fact that you can articulate your feelings and have healthy self awareness). I met my current gf through bullshitting during an online game. I had given up even searching for a gf for years before this happened.

I know anecdotes are cliché and you might disagree with me. I totally get your feeling

>>7791
OP updates???

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>>7849
A few more and my first styro!!! My boyfriend doesn’t need to know. This is a new thigh, all cuts are today

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>>7850
Happy lil guy

>>7851
is this a long distance thing or how can't he notice

>>7852
Online relationship

Bro got inspired by the gore thread
Or the cp thread I guess, but the gore was more impressive (in terms of cutting, not necessarily overall)

>>7853
How much is the distance?
>>7854
who

>>7855
Cutter

>>7856
Yes?

>>7854
I didn’t see either of those.

>>7855
We live close enough :)

>>7859
When's the next visit

>>7854
Can't believe that thread is still up lol

>>7861
nvm, we did it reddit!

>>7860
Not scheduled. We started talking two days ago.

>>7863
stay safe

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Intended to do multiple but I got distracted.

>>7878
How old are you if I may ask.

>>7880
I’m an adult. Why?

>>7881
Just curious, I know you are an adult. That much is certain

>>7882
I’m 18.

>>7883
I feel sorry for you

>>7889
Yeah, it's pretty fucked up, but who isn't fucked up nowadays. Good luck OP.

File 177291963913.jpg - (435.45KB , 750x652 , DD8FB88F-B0B3-4AA7-91FB-69B60F7F8E4C.jpg )

Did this one a few hours ago, sorry I wasn’t able to photograph it right away. It was pure, beautiful styro

File 177291978355.jpg - (753.23KB , 750x976 , 4B919523-FB9A-4BDA-B780-43E92A08C5A0.jpg )

Check out the sheer amount of blood

>>7895
Holy shit! That's gonna get infected for sure. You probably cant sit good either

>>7897
Genuinely how can I stop it from getting infected? I can make butterfly strips and use antiseptic.

>>7898
Clean it with soap and warm water. If you have iodine solution - soak a bandage in it and apply it to wound.
If not just disinfect and apply a sterile bandage and just change it every 2h or when it gets moist.

bro did your bf leave you or smth? did you cut through styro or stayed in it?

Btw did it hurt? what razor are you using, just the regular laser sharpened replaceable blades?

I'd us h202 and ... well, i wouldn't cut that deep in the first place, but u do u.

ur cutting the elastin and collaggen filaments or whatever theyre called, that's why that shit gapes like that. look at the cp thread I posted in on b. That's how you cut without fucking up your skin, just some surface permanent scarring. I think it looks kinda sick and no structural damage.

>>7900
My bf has not left me. I stayed in styro. I am using a safety razor blade that I dulled for more pain.

>>7901
Not looking at cp, thank you very much.

>>7903
It's not cp, it's just posted in cp thread

>>7904
I’m not risking opening that thread.

>>7902
Ok if you stayed there's less chance of infection.

so u cut for pain huh? aren't there more methods to get it? why cutting? Do you enjoy the idea of scarring as well?

>>7905
It's aesthetic and beautiful. Yours is in gore category now. If youre afraid of opening that one u should be even more afraid of this one.

Btw I found some anime wallpapers, but can't find the nigger that requested them. it's not on /a/ anyone know where it was?

nevermind, found the nigger looking for wallpapers

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>>7901
>look at the cp thread I posted in on b.
>It's not cp, it's just posted in cp thread
MY SIDES

Boyfriend left me. Fuck my life.

>>7910
why? but you were together for couple of days

>>7912
He didn’t see a future for the relationship. I’m still sending him nudes at his request though. I love him so much.

>>7913
Nudes aren't love

>>7913
how did he tell you

>>7906
1. My life sucks and cutting makes me feel better
2. I enjoy the pain
4. I enjoy the blood
5. I enjoy looking at and touching the wounds and eventually scars
6. I hate myself most of the time
7. I hate my body because of dysphoria

>>7917
Note: I was driven to do the deep cut primarily by self-hate. That is not usually the case.

>>7915
He was direct hut kind. I don’t want to talk any more about this.

Got it

>>>/grim/7556
Was this you too?

>>7921
No, it was not.

>>7913
why not just love /b/ and post nudes there

>>7917
Yeah, gotta admit, blood is pretty cool. I'd say check out the gore thread, but that one definitely has some mines probably worth avoiding in your state. If you can't even look at the CP thread (that has no cp). But there was some really nice cutting in the gore one.

Hope you get better soon op
This got pretty grim and dark
I'll refrain from adding my own darkness but there...

Good luck you niggaz

File 177295438999.jpg - (1.28MB , 4032x3024 , 1C5B2A96-579C-4DD7-8966-A84715955874.jpg )

Beans

>>7928
They look a lot yellower irl.

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>>7929
Another photo

>>7930
Guess it's healing okay.

>>7928
If you saw beans you cut through styro bro

Why does sh slang exist..

>>7791
How's your wound.

>>7935
I have been regularly cleaning it with rubbing alcohol, applying antibiotic, and covering it with a new makeshift bandage. I’m not going to cut again until this wound has begun to heal.
I’m considering trying to suture the cut myself because I’m struggling to get butterfly strips to hold.

Note: I seem to have some nerve damage. Despite being having no issues moving the leg with my full strength, I have occasional shooting pains running down my entire leg below the cut.

>>7936
Why do you do rubbing alcohol, that's kind of stupid, get some H2O2.

Also don't do the butterfly bandages, get the proper steristrips.

I've stitched together a few wounds in my time, well, not from self-harm, so they were relatively small although one time I got a chunk of skin clean off, so there was basically a big hole, but even that I managed to stitch up myself. But all of those were not long so just a few stitches did it. I did it with regular thread, but that's stupid, you have to go to the apothecary or whatever they're called and get the professional stuff, the bent needed needles or whatever you know watch some YouTube videos. But get the professional stuff and also you might need some pliers or something like that. I don't think it's very hard to do especially when you have both hands, most of my wounds were on one of the hands, so I only had one hand to do it with.

>>7938
Manganese permanganate might be better for even less tissue damage, but for God's sake just Google or AI ask the best antiseptic to use, it's not that complicated. You're kind of dumb OP, but I feel like you're in a bad position in your life so I feel sorry for you. Not any looking down on you kind of way but more like an empathy kind of way. Anyway, get this shit fixed, it's not that hard, you just ask AI what to do It's that simple. And I guess use a little bit of common sense and logic, you don't have to follow AI step-by-step, especially since in this situation it will be extra careful and by the book which is not necessarily, anyway, my point is that this is all extremely easy to take care of, so just do the necessary steps and if nothing gets infected, you'll just heal in time and that's that. And if it gets infected, well then you have to look at additional steps, with for now all you need is a good antiseptic that won't burn you too much and will get the job done. Unless you like the pain I guess Well in that case H2O2 might be actually perfect, because it will definitely get the job done and leave only water.

Hope you get better soon <3

>>7938
I am getting a suture kit and steristrips. I’m going to use betadine as an antiseptic moving forward. Hydrogen peroxide leaves chemical burns.

>>7939
I’m not stupid. I’m extremely sleep deprived at the moment so I’m not functioning as well as I usually do. I’m reading some resources on technique and I’m going to try to get 8 hours before I do the sutures.

>>7941
Also I’m rationing hrt really hard rn which causes terrible brain fog all the time.

>>7941
Right on bro
>>7942
What do you mean rationing? Like reducing the amount? Why would that cause brain fog?

>>7943
>Why would that cause brain fog?
Her body is not producing enough hormones needed to sustain the body.

>>7944
Oh, okay, well, that's exactly why I don't recommend people taking exogenous sex hormones for any fucking reason.

Unless it's like the last straw. Otherwise you just end up fucking things up. What's wrong with having balls, if anything that makes you more of an individual. Girls are cute, but they have no spine. I mean id embrace it if I was a chick, but I wouldn't know what I'm missing out on. If anything, it's a privilege to be a man, with all of the suffering that we have to endure, we are realer individuals. And by the way, depending on how you life your life, You can have much more or much less testosterone and estrogen too regardless of your genetics. The body is capable of adapting and creating various different mixes within you depending on your thoughts basically. Depending on your attitudes within society, your attitude towards yourself etc etc.

It's just a bit harder for the body to switch sexes. But why force it to do that? I am a man, yet I have a feminine side and I cherish it and support it and nourish it, doesn't mean I have to fucking fuck up my hardware. And doesn't mean that I cannot be masculine either. I don't know, maybe I'm missing something.

>>7945
>Men are “realer individuals” because they suffer more
I don’t think men suffer more than women. Would a woman who suffered more than a man be a realer individual than him?

>Your body adjusts your hormone levels based on your thoughts
What? I wish lol

>I would be fine if I was born a girl
You would experience dysphoria

>Why transition?
Dysphoria

>>7946
I've had dysphoria from like 1 or 2 years of age. But it passed when I was around 24 maybe.

I didn't mean to say that men suffer more (even though it is true) or that is the reason why they are realer individuals, but it's kind of a fact that men have more spine and are realer, at least based on my experience of life and interacting with various individuals. Of course I could be wrong, maybe I got the lucky sample. Although not the bigger the sample size the more unlikely it is to be a lucky draw. I've met quite a few people in my life. Well, it could also be projection, and it's easier to project myself onto men than it is on to women, but damn, really, am I being wrong or am I being observant of patterns? Realistically.

>>7947
>even though it is true
LoL I meant might be true, that sounds funny so I'll leave that lol

But yeah, you're testosterone level adjusts based on how you perceive yourself within the social environment that you're in and how you perceive yourself in general. Attitude changes a lot. I'd pull up some studies, but I'm thinking this is just common sense, so I'll leave it at that.

>>7948
Not enough to like grow tits or transform your body, but definitely enough to change your brain and how you feel etc. But it's always a chicken and an egg type situation. You make the changes yourself, and the body just follow suit. I mean psychological changes.

Hey, if you really want a female body you'll just have to get better luck next time. Because you aren't making a female body from a male one fucking regardless. Unless appearance is what you want, which then yeah fair enough. But I would hate to be dependent on external hormones. Male body is stronger and better anyway even if maybe not as cute, but hey wouldn't we all want to be cute and sexy, doesn't mean I go and fuck up what I do have for it. Idk, maybe I'm just retarded though.

But i know if I entered the female world with my psychological makeup, I would be even more alone than I already am and I'm pretty much completely alone.. I doubt females know what friendship is. 99.99% of males don't and somehow I think females are even less likely to.

I could just be completely ignorant and completely wrong though. Just going off of my own life experience and pattern recognition capability.

Sleep well op. You'll need all your serene calmness, energy and mental clarity to execute admirably on the taking care of yourself tomorrow. Sleep like a baby and sweet dreams, tomorrow hopefully God gives you another chance to please it with your masculine/feminine charm. And if you don't believe in god substitute that with BLACK VOID.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bOL0ZbOG4j4

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It is done. I mangled the area but the sutures are in. I wore a p95 mask during the operation, cleaned and disinfected the cut between stitches, and stored my tools in rubbing alcohol when not holding them. I think I’m going to be okay. I mainly used 4/0 nylon but the center stitch is 3/0. Unfortunately I only ended up managing to get 6 hours of sleep before the operation.

Here is an image of the final stitched wound prior to the final cleaning , disinfecting, and bandaging. I probably should have put the stitches closer together but I think I’m going to be all right.

Be careful with it, don't go dancing or whatever for a little bit. I'd also try applying the steri strips to lighten the load and perhaps for more uniformity.

>>7961
I decided against steri-strips. I want a nastier scar anyway

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Got upset away from home. Only had a soda can. These are the best I could do with what I had

I have an idea for a self harm “project” which I’ll be focusing on working towards. I’m not sharing it yet because it’s very risky and I may not go through with it.

>>7969
Inb4
>an heroing

Serious question
Are subcutaneous fat blobs loose or stuck together? I’ve reached beans before but I made the mistake of not checking.

I want to know before I begin if I can use a spoon or if I will have to cut them out.

>>7971
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can just scoop them up with a spoon. Make sure you have a receptacle ready.

BTW what you're gonna do with them. Ngl would be kind of nice in a bean soup with potatoes.

>>7972
Rendering it and using it to sautee some mushrooms.

>>7972
I’m being smart about this, don’t worry. About to begin the operation.

>>7974
I decided to postpone it to get better rest first.

>>7974
I decided to postpone it to get better rest first.

>>7976
I postponed too long and the urge left. Fuck

Sorry I haven’t been on top of posting my cuts. Enjoy the first round I did(very shallow styros) with this my new box cutter.

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Stopped posting my cuts again because I’m depressed. Been doing a lot of dph. Some sloppy cuts I did this morning.

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A few more. My skin is shitty because I haven’t been taking care of myself.

Too late to get high :(

Hope you guys haven’t abandoned me

Thinking about doing a deep cut with my scalpel

>>7984
why not be a bit more artistic with it?
draw a heart or something.

Christ you're retarded, OP.