>>7917
Note: I was driven to do the deep cut primarily by self-hate. That is not usually the case.

>>7915
He was direct hut kind. I don’t want to talk any more about this.

Got it

>>>/grim/7556
Was this you too?

>>7921
No, it was not.

>>7913
why not just love /b/ and post nudes there

>>7917
Yeah, gotta admit, blood is pretty cool. I'd say check out the gore thread, but that one definitely has some mines probably worth avoiding in your state. If you can't even look at the CP thread (that has no cp). But there was some really nice cutting in the gore one.

Hope you get better soon op
This got pretty grim and dark
I'll refrain from adding my own darkness but there...

Good luck you niggaz

File 177295438999.jpg - (1.28MB , 4032x3024 , 1C5B2A96-579C-4DD7-8966-A84715955874.jpg )

Beans

>>7928
They look a lot yellower irl.

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>>7929
Another photo

>>7930
Guess it's healing okay.

>>7928
If you saw beans you cut through styro bro

Why does sh slang exist..

>>7791
How's your wound.

>>7935
I have been regularly cleaning it with rubbing alcohol, applying antibiotic, and covering it with a new makeshift bandage. I’m not going to cut again until this wound has begun to heal.
I’m considering trying to suture the cut myself because I’m struggling to get butterfly strips to hold.

Note: I seem to have some nerve damage. Despite being having no issues moving the leg with my full strength, I have occasional shooting pains running down my entire leg below the cut.

>>7936
Why do you do rubbing alcohol, that's kind of stupid, get some H2O2.

Also don't do the butterfly bandages, get the proper steristrips.

I've stitched together a few wounds in my time, well, not from self-harm, so they were relatively small although one time I got a chunk of skin clean off, so there was basically a big hole, but even that I managed to stitch up myself. But all of those were not long so just a few stitches did it. I did it with regular thread, but that's stupid, you have to go to the apothecary or whatever they're called and get the professional stuff, the bent needed needles or whatever you know watch some YouTube videos. But get the professional stuff and also you might need some pliers or something like that. I don't think it's very hard to do especially when you have both hands, most of my wounds were on one of the hands, so I only had one hand to do it with.

>>7938
Manganese permanganate might be better for even less tissue damage, but for God's sake just Google or AI ask the best antiseptic to use, it's not that complicated. You're kind of dumb OP, but I feel like you're in a bad position in your life so I feel sorry for you. Not any looking down on you kind of way but more like an empathy kind of way. Anyway, get this shit fixed, it's not that hard, you just ask AI what to do It's that simple. And I guess use a little bit of common sense and logic, you don't have to follow AI step-by-step, especially since in this situation it will be extra careful and by the book which is not necessarily, anyway, my point is that this is all extremely easy to take care of, so just do the necessary steps and if nothing gets infected, you'll just heal in time and that's that. And if it gets infected, well then you have to look at additional steps, with for now all you need is a good antiseptic that won't burn you too much and will get the job done. Unless you like the pain I guess Well in that case H2O2 might be actually perfect, because it will definitely get the job done and leave only water.

Hope you get better soon <3

>>7938
I am getting a suture kit and steristrips. I’m going to use betadine as an antiseptic moving forward. Hydrogen peroxide leaves chemical burns.

>>7939
I’m not stupid. I’m extremely sleep deprived at the moment so I’m not functioning as well as I usually do. I’m reading some resources on technique and I’m going to try to get 8 hours before I do the sutures.

>>7941
Also I’m rationing hrt really hard rn which causes terrible brain fog all the time.

>>7941
Right on bro
>>7942
What do you mean rationing? Like reducing the amount? Why would that cause brain fog?

>>7943
>Why would that cause brain fog?
Her body is not producing enough hormones needed to sustain the body.

>>7944
Oh, okay, well, that's exactly why I don't recommend people taking exogenous sex hormones for any fucking reason.

Unless it's like the last straw. Otherwise you just end up fucking things up. What's wrong with having balls, if anything that makes you more of an individual. Girls are cute, but they have no spine. I mean id embrace it if I was a chick, but I wouldn't know what I'm missing out on. If anything, it's a privilege to be a man, with all of the suffering that we have to endure, we are realer individuals. And by the way, depending on how you life your life, You can have much more or much less testosterone and estrogen too regardless of your genetics. The body is capable of adapting and creating various different mixes within you depending on your thoughts basically. Depending on your attitudes within society, your attitude towards yourself etc etc.

It's just a bit harder for the body to switch sexes. But why force it to do that? I am a man, yet I have a feminine side and I cherish it and support it and nourish it, doesn't mean I have to fucking fuck up my hardware. And doesn't mean that I cannot be masculine either. I don't know, maybe I'm missing something.

>>7945
>Men are “realer individuals” because they suffer more
I don’t think men suffer more than women. Would a woman who suffered more than a man be a realer individual than him?

>Your body adjusts your hormone levels based on your thoughts
What? I wish lol

>I would be fine if I was born a girl
You would experience dysphoria

>Why transition?
Dysphoria

>>7946
I've had dysphoria from like 1 or 2 years of age. But it passed when I was around 24 maybe.

I didn't mean to say that men suffer more (even though it is true) or that is the reason why they are realer individuals, but it's kind of a fact that men have more spine and are realer, at least based on my experience of life and interacting with various individuals. Of course I could be wrong, maybe I got the lucky sample. Although not the bigger the sample size the more unlikely it is to be a lucky draw. I've met quite a few people in my life. Well, it could also be projection, and it's easier to project myself onto men than it is on to women, but damn, really, am I being wrong or am I being observant of patterns? Realistically.

>>7947
>even though it is true
LoL I meant might be true, that sounds funny so I'll leave that lol

But yeah, you're testosterone level adjusts based on how you perceive yourself within the social environment that you're in and how you perceive yourself in general. Attitude changes a lot. I'd pull up some studies, but I'm thinking this is just common sense, so I'll leave it at that.

>>7948
Not enough to like grow tits or transform your body, but definitely enough to change your brain and how you feel etc. But it's always a chicken and an egg type situation. You make the changes yourself, and the body just follow suit. I mean psychological changes.

Hey, if you really want a female body you'll just have to get better luck next time. Because you aren't making a female body from a male one fucking regardless. Unless appearance is what you want, which then yeah fair enough. But I would hate to be dependent on external hormones. Male body is stronger and better anyway even if maybe not as cute, but hey wouldn't we all want to be cute and sexy, doesn't mean I go and fuck up what I do have for it. Idk, maybe I'm just retarded though.

But i know if I entered the female world with my psychological makeup, I would be even more alone than I already am and I'm pretty much completely alone.. I doubt females know what friendship is. 99.99% of males don't and somehow I think females are even less likely to.

I could just be completely ignorant and completely wrong though. Just going off of my own life experience and pattern recognition capability.

Sleep well op. You'll need all your serene calmness, energy and mental clarity to execute admirably on the taking care of yourself tomorrow. Sleep like a baby and sweet dreams, tomorrow hopefully God gives you another chance to please it with your masculine/feminine charm. And if you don't believe in god substitute that with BLACK VOID.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bOL0ZbOG4j4

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It is done. I mangled the area but the sutures are in. I wore a p95 mask during the operation, cleaned and disinfected the cut between stitches, and stored my tools in rubbing alcohol when not holding them. I think I’m going to be okay. I mainly used 4/0 nylon but the center stitch is 3/0. Unfortunately I only ended up managing to get 6 hours of sleep before the operation.

Here is an image of the final stitched wound prior to the final cleaning , disinfecting, and bandaging. I probably should have put the stitches closer together but I think I’m going to be all right.

Be careful with it, don't go dancing or whatever for a little bit. I'd also try applying the steri strips to lighten the load and perhaps for more uniformity.

>>7961
I decided against steri-strips. I want a nastier scar anyway

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Got upset away from home. Only had a soda can. These are the best I could do with what I had

I have an idea for a self harm “project” which I’ll be focusing on working towards. I’m not sharing it yet because it’s very risky and I may not go through with it.

>>7969
Inb4
>an heroing

Serious question
Are subcutaneous fat blobs loose or stuck together? I’ve reached beans before but I made the mistake of not checking.

I want to know before I begin if I can use a spoon or if I will have to cut them out.

>>7971
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can just scoop them up with a spoon. Make sure you have a receptacle ready.

BTW what you're gonna do with them. Ngl would be kind of nice in a bean soup with potatoes.

>>7972
Rendering it and using it to sautee some mushrooms.

>>7972
I’m being smart about this, don’t worry. About to begin the operation.

>>7974
I decided to postpone it to get better rest first.

>>7974
I decided to postpone it to get better rest first.

>>7976
I postponed too long and the urge left. Fuck

Sorry I haven’t been on top of posting my cuts. Enjoy the first round I did(very shallow styros) with this my new box cutter.

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Stopped posting my cuts again because I’m depressed. Been doing a lot of dph. Some sloppy cuts I did this morning.

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A few more. My skin is shitty because I haven’t been taking care of myself.

Too late to get high :(

Hope you guys haven’t abandoned me

Thinking about doing a deep cut with my scalpel

>>7984
why not be a bit more artistic with it?
draw a heart or something.

Christ you're retarded, OP.