(mind control, gender change, solo, m/f)

The first time it happened, I didn't know what I was doing.

I hadn't been able to sleep. This wasn't especially abnormal, but usually I'd have to skip a night's rest and then the next day I'd be able to get a few hours in. Enough to feel human.

This was study hall, which amounted to a blow off class for most of us. I was going on 72 hours without any shuteye and while the girls in front of me were playing a card game and the football guys were talking about freshman girls in the corner behind me, I was resting my head on my arms and trying to count some sheep.

I had been becoming more and more serious in art class over the last few years and now that I was a senior, art had become my calling. The teacher had let me move from pencils to colored pencils to paint by the time I was a sophomore and I was a regular in highschool art exhibitions now. This got me out of P.E. and needing fine arts credits and with most of my serious classes done now, I could use art class as an excuse to get half days when I wanted them.

The lack of sleep was beginning to affect my work, though, so I slowed my breathing and ignored the noise everyone was making in an attempt to get some of that back. My social life was basically nil due to what my doctor said might be a rare form of autism. I find it hard to meet people, and my sex drive suffers from the antidepressants. Painting really is all I have, most days.

Sleep came over me like it usually did, a fickle thing that came when I was at the breaking point. Sometimes, due to my restlessness, I have what they call lucid dreams. Sitting in studyhall, I was aware that I was asleep, but still cognizant enough to know that I was sleeping. Most of my rest is that way.

This time, everything was even more vivid than usual. I could actually see the girls there having a conversation. I moved over to them, looking over my shoulder to see myself sleeping still. A haze hung over the classroom, like they were playing cards in a burning building. Somewhere, in a dense bank of black clouds in the corner, I could hear the football players laughing about something.
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Looks like there is definitly some Reasonables Marines' flavor that went into their creations. Even the markings, symbols and Insignas avoid being too fancy and look relatively Militaristic.

They do look kind of neat actually despite being a bit plain visually.

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I'm having issues with TOR anymore. I'm on a VPN trying to go to sites and it all gives me 501s. Do the addresses change constantly and that's why I can't connect or what?

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WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO SECURE CONNECTION?

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What are the best drugs to get prescribed by a doctor? How do you get them to be prescribed? Once they're prescribed, how do you use them?

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BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE SEEN THIS.

Ep 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Dyqas6Sm8&list=PLenCT3tlRYrW_AVHq6WfqIFLK-xdJuD5_&index=2

Ep 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClbBxEomrb4&list=PLenCT3tlRYrW_AVHq6WfqIFLK-xdJuD5_&index=3

Ep 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEmh5a_wSyw&list=PLenCT3tlRYrW_AVHq6WfqIFLK-xdJuD5_&index=4

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I feel like I can't commit to anything long term. I just get bored or discouraged at the effort required. The longest thing I committed to was EVE online and I got good at that but then I got bored.

I'm doing alright for myself now but I can't shake this feeling of perpetual boredom. I go to work, do the bare minimum with enough scattered moments of taking on a challenge to prove my worth such that I'm kept on board.

I want to be a software developer. I want to lose 20 lbs. I want to gain muscle. I want to be interesting. I want to meet new people.

I've gotten close to all these things. I'm an application developer. I lost 8 lbs. I gained some muscle. People seem to like me. I have a solid group of friends. But the thing is, achieving your goals requires full, focused effort. I'm not so sure I can pull them off given my previous track record. And even if I do, will I have the energy to maintain it?

Everyday is blurring by, John. I used to think I had so much time so I wasted it, procrastinated it. And now while I'm not old by any means, I can see the trend, that time starts to accelerate the older we get and especially the more monotonous our lives become.

Meh. Anyhow, thanks for listening John. I've always taken comfort knowing that no matter how many things in my life change over the years, of where I end up, I'll always have this little corner of the internet to come back to.

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Post suicidal characters.

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Like what actually causes this abysmal level of retardness? The fuck even is this shit? Is it the lead in the water or all the acid they took in the 70s? Fucking christ man