>>7483
2)

Long rant ahead on feeling guilty for being a geek loser who likes video games

Full title / tl;dr summary:
On being crippled by shame, guilt, self-doubt, and self-hatred for being a low-value nerd who likes video games, anime, less popular music genres like heavy metal, and other "loser activities" instead of self-improving, making money, and getting laid like a normal "real man" should.

I hate when I'm trying to engage in some fun but pointless waste of time like video games or anime or youtube -- and my brain will not STFU, I'm flooded with distracting background thoughts, when I'm trying to concentrate.

And it's worst when I'm attempting to have fun and pass the time on a stereotypical "loser activity" like anime or video games, where I'm pulled between the cognitive dissonance of "yeah, you're a low-value male doing a low-value male activity, lol, you could make the choice to suck less and make money and get laid but no, you've chosen to suck and fail and do it all wrong, to waste your one life on stupid crap like watching anime and playing video games instead of being normal and having a girlfriend and staying far from lady-repellent geek activities like a real man should, that you have such poor taste that you can't even enjoy REAL art and REAL culture you common-taste philistine profligate, that you wouldn't even bother with entertainment at all if you'd just adopt the sigma grindset and put your nose to the grindstone and work hard at self-improvement, of becoming the strongest version of yourself, of being both the marble and the sculptor -- even though you can't take any of it with you and you're fated to rot in the ground like any other stupid and pointless animal who went through all the trouble of survival for no reason, all traces of your existence will be gone forever in less than a century, even the universe is gonna die some day so why bother at all"

and

"okay boomer, video games are just as legit an activity as watching TV or playing sports, I never hear your moldy old rock-a-billies wearing harley jackets while never having ridden a motorcycle in your life (lol poser) whine about those, you say I'm wasting my life well how many hundreds of hours have you pissed away whooping and hollering at the TV while stuffing your fat face with beer and nachos and hot dogs watching sweaty muscle-men crash into each other like dumb animals, and you call me queer for being a computer nerd lol lmao, you All-Work-And-No-Play puritan and anti-fun protestants sure are arbitrary and capricious tyrants in where and what you apply your so-called beliefs you flaming hypocrites and vipers; yes it's true that girls mostly hate video games and anime still, that being an insecure feelings-saddled social cripple is girl-repellent and they can smell if you're not a real man who accepts nobody gives a crap what he thinks or does like a good stoic, that instead you have to resort to anime and video games to push the pain of loserdom away instead of playing in pussy and enjoying real-world adventures of the high life social status -- it's a magical sense all women are born with, women can do cosplay and Twitch stream without sabotaging their social status because women are just magical fairies free of labels and can do whatever they please without the constraints of reason and accountability, yes I'm mad and jealous of all these double-standards -- and yes you'll have a much harder time getting one-night-stands telling her about your Digimon rolodex or your carefully cultivated heavy metal playlists instead of lying and dressing like you make seven figures as a bank upper-management executive (dating is all about lying and hiding who you really are, isn't it? that whole Tinder/OKCupid scene is so very toxic if you weren't lucky enough to be born 'normal' and well-off and socially-adjusted, that if all the good things in life didn't just fall into your lap without effort you're probably a genetic dead-end who should quit wasting everyone's time and resources and wrap it all up with a big dose of shotgun mouthwash?), it took centuries for reading novels to be accepted as legit entertainment without making your parents worry they won't get grandkids, everything will get better when the boomers finally die off and take all their crap like mindless prejudice against video games and smartphones with them, same way it took all the original slavers to die of old age before we as a society finally collectively decided 'hey, it's wrong to enslave all these black people while living under the "Land Of The Free" where supposedly "All Are Created Equal", so let's stop being assholes and let them off the plantations, even if we gotta murder 100,000's of each other in civil war to make emancipation happen', that's the only way things change on a societal scale is when all the old guard die off and quit shoving "that's not how WE did things when WE were growing up!!" peer pressure down everyone's throats, it's gonna take another quarter-millennium for everyone to drop the New Media Are Evil boomerist luddisms of hating on smartphones and chat AI too--"

Phew. All these neuroticisms and toxic thoughts need to go away and leave me alone so I can play my stupid digital legos without feeling so ashamed and guilty about doing it wrong in peace. I hate spending so much of my life worried that, no matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it wrong and someone, somewhere, is making fun of me for sucking and failing at life. Yes, I know I'm a low-value male who resorts to video games and anime, I know, I know, stop laughing at me and leave me alone! Go enjoy your money and your frequent easy sex, indulge in your privileges of being born with a silver spoon in your mouth and raised well with class and dignity, you don't have to shove it in my face that I'm a broken failed human who could have made better life choices despite being born with such a terrible hand, I already know, I already live it and have had a front-row seat to my crapsack life for nearly 40 years non-stop and I wish so badly to have never been born watching you all succeed so easily after being handed everything without asking whereas my life has been little more than suck and fail and toil and grind and little to show for it in between long bouts of "screw it I'll just piss my one life away on anime and video games I'll never have nice things in life so why bother trying to be better", let me and the rest of us low-value geeks enjoy SOMETHING instead of just killing ourselves like you apparently demand of us pathetic losers, our existence so very offensive to you hoity-toity jock bougies...