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/grim/ - Cold, Grim & Miserable

A purposefully-desolate corner of 7chan.
Tell us the thoughts that destroy you when you dwell on them long enough.
Show us what killed your faith in humanity.
Traumatize us, so we think about your post for years to come.


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Life. Edgar Anon Poe 19/11/08(Fri)03:29 No. 6266
6266

File 157318015115.jpg - (744.75KB , 1920x1080 , tom-yi-0915bae.jpg )

>Spend childhood getting bullied, but otherwise pretty normal upbringing
>taught to treat people with decency and respect, even if they don't treat you the same way
>battery of IQ tests reveals genius intelligence
>have some serious issues come up in mid-childhood, various diagnoses of mental disorders ranging from ADHD to Rapidcycling bipolar disorder to learning disabilities
>pretty sure I was just bored and couldn't learn things from reading about them, have to be actively engaged and made to care about it.
>constant social issues growing up cause me to throw myself into books, history, and computers
>social issues include trusting people too easily and being taken advantage of, not getting along with authority figures, getting bullied and getting into fights, generally being socially ostracized
>grow up a massive fucking nerd
>develop severe depression around age 8 which involves sometimes cutting my hand to feel anything but misery
>hide it
>get into musical counterculture at 15 years of age...punk, thrash metal, goth, electro, industrial, psychobilly, I love it all
>tons of ideas on what I want to do with myself...make videogames, be a writer, make music, be an architect, just want to put something out into the world that I can care about
>constantly told by family and the few girlfriends I've had "That's unrealistic, you need to pick something else."
>school marks suffer significantly, largely because I just can't keep track of things and most of the subjects I just don't care about since nobody's giving me an actual reason to learn shit other than "you need this credit to pass"
>never pursue dreams
>finally decide to pursue video game design dreams by signing up for programming courses at local community college
>go through very messy breakup
>friends abandon me when I need them most
>go through course but fail half of the classes
>drop out
>attempt and fail suicide
>listless NEET for the next couple years
>date someone who encourages my dreams for once and encourages me to be the best me I can.
>she has to move away for a variety of complicated reasons, not the least of which is my family hates her
>spotty contact for the next couple years while she gets her own shit in order
>move out of home
>end up in another relationship and end long-distance relationship with previous girlfriend
>friends abandon me...again.
>move in with new girlfriend, she needs to be taken care of quite a bit, and I'm glad to be there for her and have her love, she supports me as much as she can.
>series of medical and mental problems, dead end jobs, several complete breakdowns
>diagnosed with chronic migraines, severe depression, chronic anxiety
>now in my 30s, having spent half my adult life unemployed, and in the worst shape of my life with no real willpower to fix it
>Every job I've had for the last 7 years has lasted less than 6 months
>now trying to get manufacturing jobs but can't seem to get anyone to even interview me
>last job I had was almost 7 months at a small cafe with increasingly infrequent shifts
>migraines keep me from maintaining a proper work schedule
>migraines and depression mean I can't do military service, which honestly I think I would enjoy the ritual and discipline of
>depression has resulted in the apartment being a mess
>can't pursue any of my hobbies because I need a workshop space
>debating picking up on some of the dreams I had when I was younger


If it wasn't for my girlfriend, I'd just kill myself and be done with it. I hate everything and everyone, I want nothing to do with society. I don't know why she puts up with my shit. I know damn well that I'm a bum, but for some reason she loves me anyways.


>>
Edgar Anon Poe 19/11/08(Fri)12:22 No. 6267

>>6266
>girlfriend
Dropped


>>
Edgar Anon Poe 19/11/08(Fri)15:24 No. 6268

Masochism is a personality structure based on submission and dependence. Relationship is always slavery of a kind, which leaves a residue of guilt. Neurotic means to suck at dealing with reality, can't handle the stress and anxiety of life. Psychotic means to be out of touch with reality, not knowing the difference between fact and fiction.

"Know what your problem is, Shapiro? It's that you just have this really shitty way of looking at things, ya know? I don't have that problem. I just look at the dopeness. But you, it's like you just look at the wackness, ya know?"

"James neurotically bites his nails, until they turned blood red but his problems didn't go away."


>>
Edgar Anon Poe 19/11/28(Thu)18:24 No. 6274

>>6266
Anon I have the same life story. Beat by beat. Do you draw?


>>
Edgar Anon Poe 19/12/02(Mon)09:44 No. 6277

>>6267
based


>>
Edgar Anon Poe 19/12/02(Mon)09:44 No. 6278

>>6267
based


>>
Edgar Anon Poe 19/12/02(Mon)12:50 No. 6279

I would say take care of yourself and reach your highest potential. Why not? What's the downside? Do you get 20 lashes from someone for reaching your potential? lol There's no absolute must that you abuse yourself in any sense. Are there any good reasons for people to mistreat each other? I would say no. I would include yourself in that list. That's what I would advocate for a mindset here. Just help yourself to accomplish what you can. Sounds like a great idea to me. I can't detect a trace of fault in it. I would say it's completely satisfactory for life advice in totality. lol What do others think? What are your thoughts about anything brought up? Share them here. Based.


>>
Hey can we talk i founded you on cold,grim& Miserable SadIntelectual 20/09/05(Sat)23:51 No. 6517

I just want to chat with you or talk i think we have similar problems


>>
Edgar Anon Poe 20/09/06(Sun)00:42 No. 6518

Sounds awful and I haven't even gone through a quarter of what you have. Unfortunately, I can't sympathize much because you've had girlfriends. I can't even approach girls due to fear of rejection.


>>
Egregore 20/09/17(Thu)19:24 No. 6532
6532

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Yo man, this is literally what happened to me too. My leg is filled with cuts and scars. I used to have long lines of thick clotting blood dripping through my legs.

I broke sharpeners and cut my legs with it to the point that, my mom became concerned. Its ironic because it seems like she actually cares about me, but, I'm on a roller-coaster of emotions all day to the point that, I do not have a fixed opinion on anyone. It's almost like I'm a nietszchean fragment of multiple wills beyond good and evil.

Had a few exes and the Last two ended up cheating on me.


>>
Edgar Anon Poe 20/10/03(Sat)04:46 No. 6541

>battery of IQ tests reveals genius intelligence
>get into musical counterculture at 15 years of age...punk, thrash metal, goth, electro, industrial, psychobilly, I love it all
kek, let me guess, they told you you were a really "special" guy and they put you in "special" classes for "special" kids.


>>
Warped mind Edgar Anon Poe 22/01/17(Mon)20:02 No. 6728
6728

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Some metabolisms need protein for good. Eggs and fish are usually the softest.
The important thing about warp wanings are the core tenets:

>Fasting, training the body to fast
>Colon cleansing
>When eating regularly, do it within a narrow schedule and not thru the day long
>Mucusless diet is dangerous if suddenly applied,beware
>Colon cleansing is necessary after an entire life of miscarriage.
>Some bodies have different symptoms to express they are harmed by wheat,corn,rice and/or industrial sugars.
>Best fats are HDL. Worst ones are LDL. Carbs and starch raise this last one quite a lot.
>Best proteíns are from eggs and white fish,easiest fats.
>Best sport is always short and intense , never marathonian.
>Avoid breakfast until some hours pass since you get up.
>Investigate the books of warp wanings. Read Ehret, Dan Reid, Nagumo, Perlmutter, Horace Fletcher, James Nicolantonio… Not every body works the same way, test and discover your options.
> Warp wanings may take slowly upgrading your usage of them and quite a lot of time, AGEs are harder to remove from the body (specially brains) than starch.

>This is the hardest part of them: the physical one.

No inspiration comes without passion, without energy there's no passion, without health there's no energy. Energy comes only with health and health is only possible when pneuma is driven through a misobstructed body. As I experienced, I teach.

Use your time quickly, for you are now beyond the phase of learning. These archives are the result of mine.



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