drink and binge eat.

Not at the same time.

Games, masturbation, and online trolling. Oh, and paid work. Mostly paid work. Idle hands are the devil's suicide machine.

alcohol and heroin. oh i wish i never touched heroin, what the fuck did i think was gonna happen.

i went 9 months without it once, now i can't break 6. only, only weed takes the 'edge' off the constant cravings. people say they can take years to go away. idk if i can do it.

dont ever think of opiates as a coping method, or any drug really.

cry a lot. cut myself sometimes but i try not to since that's a slippery slope and i don't wanna go back to my old ways. post about my feelings on anonymous image boards

>>5843
I dont even try to quit, it's uphill battle and you just gonna ruin your life even more.
I'm not from USA, im from EU, we get Subutex for free.
That was my way out, it really helps with depression, cravings(you even have nice little high), I tried to quit but Subutex enters your bones, it's probably even worse than H.

If you are in the place of full quit4life(i dont believe you, what are you gonna do without something-something), use Sub, first week cut in half 2mg pill.Then half again, wait for worst cravings(at least ~48h) and take 0.5 sublingual. That will hold you for 2-3 days, than take 0.2 after 4-5 days(it's not perfect but its way better than cold turkey)..

Do not use it as an longterm solution, you will fuck yourself up even more..

>>5867

I'm from the UK, I can get methadone or subutex free of charge but I don't want that on my medical record, due to paranoia about being refused pain meds when i actually need them (this actually happens and its sick) and also potentially being refused entry into the united states for the best surgeon in the world for the work I want done.

I think I may already be listed as a drug user in my medical history anyway, after I tried to kill myself in 2015 paramedics (i think, or the police, or my little brother, it's one of three) took away 3g of H that was in plain site, along with anything i could possibly use to harm myself. they even took away my lighter fluid lol.

subutex fast taper is great for coming off, it's actually a miracle substance. i've used it for that purpose 6 times now, but what I've noticed is it draws out the 'boredom' stage of PAWS a lot longer than going cold turkey does, however I've only gone cold turkey three times and those where in my earlier days of use, so that could just be nonsense, afterall, the longer you use, the more your brain changes and ergo the longer it takes to revert. My first cold turkey was piss easy, I didn't even recognise it was happening to me, I just thought I was agitated and angry because I was involuntarily committed (another thing I'm afraid will block my entry into the US for surgery, their border agency are fucking crazy about that stuff and it's so bizarre to me)

It's been just over a month since I last used, yesterday though, I was going through my old burnt up foils I have stashed behind my desk, looking for anything I hadn't burnt up. I found nothing, of course.

I know it will always be a part of my life. That's just how it's gotta be now. I can't imagine life without an opiate high every once in a while. I've got a few kg of poppy seeds on hand but haven't touched them so far. I hate the taste of PST. But they are there, taunting me, and when I eventually use them I know it'll reboot my downward spiral.

post turned out longer than I thought it would (probably still not very long) but I'm drunk and being a whiner.

stress out over nothing and everything.
wonder if should i commit fall damage or visit different places.
comparing life choices

>>5867
>Subutex...is an opioid used to treat opioid use disorder
That just sounds like a bad idea.

listen to music, sleep, lay in bed and fantasize about what could have gone better, cry in the shower,cut, cyberstalk the last person i was able to connect with, and post diary entries on an imageboard.

>>5791
I much prefer it this way.

>>5791
Imageboards, I want to kill myself everyday and reading them doesn't help much; but, suddenly, I just happen to find the perfect, honest, funny thread that helps me kicking around for another hour. How sad.

I think about all the dirty shit I've done to people without them ever knowing. I jack off into my sister in law's panties all the time.

Makes me smile

Oh, damn. If I actually had frens my mind would nag me on the pressure of having some sort of weel-ordered life to not look too weird before them.

There are many desires in us that simply are parasites, they do not deserve our attention.

It's like a drug that doesn't feel nice anymore

Why does such a thing to be a misfortune? What a poor mindset.

https://my mother's fax machine.gg/7C2GwSE

hiki neet sui sh

>>5791
I have fantasy friends in my head, and we live in a fantasy town, but my fantasy girlfriend broke up with me, so I've been having a fantasy hard time.

Watch old vidya. Learn facts.

>>5791
I need to wait for the terminations to set me free.

i just sit on my own hating myself

I watch video, read the news and talk to the dead because nobody else can possibly hear me.

>>7447
What about birds?

fentanyl

random shit on computer

画像ファイル名 17652024186.png - (377.33KB , 450x449 , Screenshot 2024-12-30 205742.png )

i make alot of music and art to keep myself company , i like to use physical gear that i can feel and touch not computer programs as they make me feel even lonlier

>>5791
I'm dredging my way through the internet trying to find "content" to fill the void. I like astralcodexten because he's basically a graphomaniac, and there's a comments section overflowing with pseudo-intellectuals who write autistic walltexts. It's consuming, even though I know it's not good. Loads of YouTube videos and stupid podcasts too, although I actually hate the idea of parasociality which can drive me away from that at the same time. Pornography too. Ultimately I am keenly aware that all is vanity and I am simply running out the clock. I hate being drunk, I hate weed, but I suspect I might one day graduate to opiates and die of an overdose. There is no hope for me.

>>7662
>Self-aware of all the issues
>Bro there's no hope for me
Um, sir, it sounds to me like you are just a choice away from living a better life, yes you are running out of time, but awareness is half the battle.
>>7661
Ahh man that is super cool. I'm really into art myself and music in particular, but for the most part I'm just in the lab making various amplification and then testing it and then listening to music in glorious quality. But lately I've been looking into cheap microphones, to start at least doing something creative outside of purely technical creativity. I already have the digital interface to record it, might as well start singing or rapping a little bit I mean just experimenting at least. God damn. Anyway, cheers and I admire what you're doing. Even if I don't know what the fuck you're doing, but the fact that you're doing anything at all. You're a bit ahead of me.