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>>49405
Hi John,
I can empathize with how you feel. I think there's a reason the phrase "childlike-sense of wonder" uses the verbiage it does - as you grow older, the world tends to lose its fancy sheen.
I'm not really sure what's next for me. Perhaps you feel the same. But all I know is I cannot continue to live like this. I feel like I'm just floating through a sea of gray.
With that being said, it feels self-inflicted. I have friends who regularly travel the world, or who engage deeply in hobbies like building their cars or mountain biking or playing tennis, and they build a community from said hobbies. Meanwhile, what do I do? I go to and from work, browse social media, play video games, and let my thoughts consume me. How can I say life has lost its thrill when I've not truly experienced all of what life has to offer?
My own social anxiety and fear of rejection has boxed me into a mental prison of my own making that has prevented me from just going out and experiencing.
I have felt rays of genuine joy on occasion. It gives me hope there is more out there. I need to sit down and think about what it is about those moments that makes me feel so good, so I can come up with a plan to maximize this.
I hope we both find our way, John.
- John
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