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I have so much hate for niggers, molatos, jews and every other kind of lowlife on this beautiful planet, but recently I have been restraining myself and if this thought arises - I allowing it to remain in my mind. You know like the Buddhists, without attachment, allowing things in your mind to come and then to pass. This is the steps I take to a healthier, more aligned me. Not even giving it energy or splashing around. Like a 10-year-old child standing in the water, not moving. Mirror lake or stormy water, the child is sometime waylaid around like a ragdoll but even then - it never splashes.
Mostly been talking about love and gratitude recently which actually I don't feel is a hard thing to do and I always did that in the past, but now focusing even more exclusively on. It's not hard, it comes naturally actually to be completely accurate and honest with you now. Because ever since I was a small child I saw so much beauty. It's very easy for me to give praise and what is love if not just another form of recognition and appreciation of the nature of something.
Hope you are doing well 7chan. I wish have been doing well (and I have) - enough to sleep however long I wish, and while awake, mostly loving on the few friends that I don't have. But most of all I suppose I appreciate the story and the nuance, because I don't know if it's me or God, but somebody made sure 'tis was going to be a fucking insane. I love the little surprises, those are the saturated crimson fucking cherries on top, like straight up. Talk about losing your memory and then REmembering.
Not even having your expectations of a good life (not even having your expectations of paradise) subverted and most things taken away - can make you not appreciate. Even if I'm here for the next 13 hours, is it not a gift still, despite everything I dreamed about not present? Is it not a gift If I'm not in physical pain... and perhaps I don't have the body that I always dreamed of and I never had it, but perhaps I am not in pain and furthermore there is still here something for me to marvel at and to be delighted by. Even if 13 hours from now I say goodbye to my friends. Tired? Tired my ass, I never even had a job. And look, at the end of the day isn't God most disappointed in the one who even though he got the greatest gift of all, missed it because of their blind rage (and making too much noise) at the things that are doing wrong, what if they had the subtlety and the ability to listen to what is actually love?, what if something extraordinary, even if not what was expected, was actually interweaved there into the fabric of their experience (and it is a fabric!! - don't be fooled, Mercedes AMG and the kiss of your girlfriend on the cheek is made from the same exact fucking stuff, let alone pure radiant ascending pleasure, hell, even back pain oof), by the architect, perhaps a gift greater than anyone else received and yet others received it that what they were given, even if less refined or interesting. You know what I mean... This experience is hiding many things, not because it's trying to be sneaky or mysterious, but simply because there are so many things to fit here. Simply because there are so many things in general. The things that matter, will still be discerned and cognized and brought into the light of the one who recognizes the more interesting parts of it. I supposed to each their own, but God doesn't cast pearls before niggers. Sometimes maybe he doesn't even cast them personally but just casts them into the wild, in a way that allows him to see who will pick it up, who will notice it at all perhaps in the first place. If they catch it good - they will be rewarded *sweet pleasure reward*, perhaps they can catch more. And supposedly God while loving everyone, still enjoys a "better" company. I have never seen the devil depicted as a fucking nigger. The great mother of space has no say and never gave a fuck other than having her jaw on the floor. If you call that giving a fuck, fine, but really that's just the appropriate reaction. So much emotion. She takes it in like the good slut that she is. What a innocent little baby. And yet the deepest fucking Mariana trench, fuck her, well, I guess we're all her.
Anyway, I heard 420ch reopen tomorrow. Happy bicycle day y'all.
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