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>>837498
I was lonely since born. Then I went through some seriously dark, some even scary. I learned to appreciate my company. I think I'm awesome. I suppose this prevents me from feelings of loneliness. And awareness of infinity. You are never alone. even if everyone around you seems to suck. there are beings interested in what's happening here and what's happening in your life.
Have you considered creativity? It's ecstatic if ecstasy is enough for you. But judging from your situation, it's probably not. Secretly you are being very creative OP. Keep going. You left yourself a few surprises still.